purina diet

[ROKKET]

I have a Golden retriever & I was buying a large bag of Purina at
Wal-Mart
and was in line to check out.

A woman behind me asked if I had a dog. On impulse, I told her that
no, I
was starting The Purina Diet again, although I probably shouldn't
because
I'd ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds
before
I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most
of my
orifices and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way
that it
works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply
eat one
or two every time you feel hungry & that the food is nutritionally
complete so I was going to try it again.

I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by
now
enthralled with my story, particularly a guy who was behind her.

Horrified, she asked if I'd ended up in the hospital in that
condition
because I had been poisoned. I told her no; it was because I'd been
sitting in the street licking my balls and a car hit me.

I thought one guy was going to have a heart attack he was laughing
so
hard as he staggered out the door.