johnny wants out of class

[cobra96]

Little johnny was in class one day. the teacher told the class that if they answered the questions she asked then that person could go home early. she asked her first question. little girl raised her hand and answered correctly. teacher told her she could leave. she asked another question. another little girl raised her hand and answered correctly. again the teacher let her go home early. she asked a third question. again another little girl raised her hand and answered correctly. now johnny is furious because he wants to leave. the teacher then turns her back and johnny says all these bitches need to shut the hell up. the teacher turned and asked who said that. little johnny raised his hand and said tiger woods.

[BoDarville]

Ouch, another tiger bits the dust. Poor old tiger what did he ever do to deserve all this?

:p

[roadweasel]

Ouch, another tiger bits the dust. Poor old tiger what did he ever do to deserve all this?

:p
anything in a skirt?

[1969amx]

Ouch, another tiger bits the dust. Poor old tiger what did he ever do to deserve all this?

:pUm 12 women? Oh and dont sweat the marriage thing.

[KEN]

Little Johnny is sitting in English class when nature calls. He raises his hand and asks his Teacher if he can take a "Piss". Billy's teacher snapps back with the correction to his question. "Urinate, Billy! Now use it in a sentence and you may go to the restroom!" Little Billy looks puzzled for a second, then responds "You're an eight, but you would be a ten if you had bigger breasts!".

[roadweasel]

It is near the Christmas break of the school year. The students have turned in all their work and there is really nothing more to do. All the children are restless and the teacher decides to have an early dismissal.

Teacher: "Whoever answers the questions I ask, first and correctly can leave early today."

Little Johnny says to himself "Good, I want to get outta here. I'm smart and will answer the question."

Teacher: "Who said 'Four Score and Seven Years Ago'?"

Before Johnny can open his mouth, Susie says, "Abraham Lincoln."

Teacher: "That's right Susie, you can go home."

Johnny is mad that Susie answered the question first.

Teacher: "Who said 'I Have a Dream'?"

Before Johnny can open his mouth, Mary says, "Martin Luther King."

Teacher: "That's right Mary, you can go."

Johnny is even madder than before.

Teacher: "Who said 'Ask not, what your country can do for you'?"

Before Johnny can open his mouth, Nancy says, "John F. Kennedy."

Teacher: "That's right Nancy, you may also leave."

Johnny is boiling mad that he has not been able to answer to any of the questions.

When the teacher turns her back Johnny says, "I wish these bitches would keep their mouths shut!"

The teacher turns around: "NOW WHO SAID THAT?"

Johnny: "TIGER WOODS. CAN I GO NOW?

[elitebyford]

one day, the teacher wanted to play a little game with her students, so she holds an object behind her back and told her students whom ever could guess what she had behind her back would get a prize, she then calls on a little girl and says, i am round, and I am red, What am I? the little girl replies with little thought, "A BALL!!!". the teachers says, no, its and apple, but i like the way you think. she then grabs a different object from her box on the desks, and calls on another student, avoiding little johnnys waving hand and rude way of thinking, and says, "I am orange, and I am round. what am i?" again the 2nd little girl blurts abruptly, "A BALL" the teacher replies, no, its an orange, but i like the way you think. Johnny will stand no more of this non-sense and he stands and says, "i wanna try, teacher, i have something in my pocket, and if you can guess what it is, ill be polite the rest of the year." This sounds like heaven to the teacher so she is obliged. Johnny says," Im round, I have one head, and one eye, What am I?" The teachers jaw drops, and she cries out, "JOHNNY, there are little girls in the room, but if it makes you good for a year, its your penis."
Johnny laughs histrically and says, "no, its a quarter, but i like the way you think!!!!!!"

[gcountach]

It is near the Christmas break of the school year. The students have turned in all their work and there is really nothing more to do. All the children are restless and the teacher decides to have an early dismissal.

Teacher: "Whoever answers the questions I ask, first and correctly can leave early today."

Little Johnny says to himself "Good, I want to get outta here. I'm smart and will answer the question."

Teacher: "Who said 'Four Score and Seven Years Ago'?"

Before Johnny can open his mouth, Susie says, "Abraham Lincoln."

Teacher: "That's right Susie, you can go home."

Johnny is mad that Susie answered the question first.

Teacher: "Who said 'I Have a Dream'?"

Before Johnny can open his mouth, Mary says, "Martin Luther King."

Teacher: "That's right Mary, you can go."

Johnny is even madder than before.

Teacher: "Who said 'Ask not, what your country can do for you'?"

Before Johnny can open his mouth, Nancy says, "John F. Kennedy."

Teacher: "That's right Nancy, you may also leave."

Johnny is boiling mad that he has not been able to answer to any of the questions.

When the teacher turns her back Johnny says, "I wish these bitches would keep their mouths shut!"

The teacher turns around: "NOW WHO SAID THAT?"

Johnny: "TIGER WOODS. CAN I GO NOW?

This sounds a lot like a joke I read recently... but from where I wonder.. :-?

Actually heard this on the radio as the joke of the day in this wording. I assume cobra's was how he recalled it?

[Pie]

one day, the teacher wanted to play a little game with her students, so she holds an object behind her back and told her students whom ever could guess what she had behind her back would get a prize, she then calls on a little girl and says, i am round, and I am red, What am I? the little girl replies with little thought, "A BALL!!!". the teachers says, no, its and apple, but i like the way you think. she then grabs a different object from her box on the desks, and calls on another student, avoiding little johnnys waving hand and rude way of thinking, and says, "I am orange, and I am round. what am i?" again the 2nd little girl blurts abruptly, "A BALL" the teacher replies, no, its an orange, but i like the way you think. Johnny will stand no more of this non-sense and he stands and says, "i wanna try, teacher, i have something in my pocket, and if you can guess what it is, ill be polite the rest of the year." This sounds like heaven to the teacher so she is obliged. Johnny says," Im round, I have one head, and one eye, What am I?" The teachers jaw drops, and she cries out, "JOHNNY, there are little girls in the room, but if it makes you good for a year, its your penis."
Johnny laughs histrically and says, "no, its a quarter, but i like the way you think!!!!!!" Lol NICE! \m/

[roadweasel]

I just copy/pasted the version as it was emailed to me.

[cobra96]

This sounds a lot like a joke I read recently... but from where I wonder.. :-? Actually heard this on the radio as the joke of the day in this wording. I assume cobra's was how he recalled it?

ha...yeah i was told the joke the other day and they have me the short version