Cops Nightmare

[BoDarville]

http://i161.photobucket.com/albums/t234/bodarvel/dougnut.jpg

[BoDarville]

http://i161.photobucket.com/albums/t234/bodarvel/3014499187.jpg

:D

[KEN]

Daddy my hat blew off!

[kevmeister]

too bad yer head wasn't in it...

LOL

:D

[BoDarville]

There aint no way, no way you came from my loins :D

[kevmeister]

"when we get home... I'm gonna punch yo momma in the mouth..."

:D

[BoDarville]

"look daddy its a football game"
"you stay and watch it, I'm going back"

[KEN]

What we're dealing with here is a complete lack of respect for the law.

[Ayce]

Hey Bandit, Fred wants to know why we're doing this?

Cause it's never been done before.

That's good with Fred, we gone, bye bye. :D

[KEN]

They need to hurry up and get the remastered bluray edition out.

[baddog_1_2k]

heres a cop joke 4 ya

Yesterday I was at the local Wal-Mart. Now I was only in there for about 5 minutes and when I came out, there he was - a damn Motorcycle cop writing a parking ticket ...

So, I went to him and said: "Come on Buddy, how about giving a guy a break?"

He simply ignored me and continued writing the ticket.

So, I called him a pencil necked Nazi. He then glared at me and started writing another ticket for having bald tires!

So, I called him a sorry excuse for a human being. He then finished the second ticket and put it on the car with the first. Then he started to write a third ticket!

This went on for about 25 minutes ... the more I abused and hurled insults at him, the more tickets he wrote ...
But hey, I didn't give a damn. My car was parked around the corner ...

[roadweasel]

Chick gets pulled over for speeding, the Washington State Patrol (WSP) Officer puts his official "yer gettin' a ticket" hat on and gets his pen and pad out. She brightly asks him if she's getting a ticket to the WSP Ball. He says "Sorry ma'am, the WSP don't have Balls". She looked at him, eyebrow raised.
He was quiet for a moment... flipped his book shut and told her to have a nice day.

[Pie]

heres a cop joke 4 ya

Yesterday I was at the local Wal-Mart. Now I was only in there for about 5 minutes and when I came out, there he was - a damn Motorcycle cop writing a parking ticket ...

So, I went to him and said: "Come on Buddy, how about giving a guy a break?"

He simply ignored me and continued writing the ticket.

So, I called him a pencil necked Nazi. He then glared at me and started writing another ticket for having bald tires!

So, I called him a sorry excuse for a human being. He then finished the second ticket and put it on the car with the first. Then he started to write a third ticket!

This went on for about 25 minutes ... the more I abused and hurled insults at him, the more tickets he wrote ...
But hey, I didn't give a damn. My car was parked around the corner ...


Chick gets pulled over for speeding, the Washington State Patrol (WSP) Officer puts his official "yer gettin' a ticket" hat on and gets his pen and pad out. She brightly asks him if she's getting a ticket to the WSP Ball. He says "Sorry ma'am, the WSP don't have Balls". She looked at him, eyebrow raised.
He was quiet for a moment... flipped his book shut and told her to have a nice day.

Both awesome!

A male driver is pulled over by a cop and the following conversation takes place:
Man: What's the problem officer?
Cop: You were going at least 75 in a 55 zone.
Man: No sir, I was going 65.
Wife: Oh Harry. You were going 80.
(Man gives his wife a dirty look.)
Cop: I'm also going to give you a ticket for your broken tail light.
Man: Broken tail light? I didn't know about a broken tail light!
Wife: Oh Harry, you've known about that tail light for weeks.
(Man gives his wife a dirty look.)
Cop: I'm also going to give you a citation for not wearing your seat belt.
Man: Oh, I just took it off when you were walking up to the car.
Wife: Oh Harry, you never wear your seat belt.
Man: Shut your mouth, woman!
Cop: Ma'am, does your husband always talk to you this way?
Wife: No, only when he's drunk.

[Matty]

Lmao... nice on Pie hahahaha

[kevmeister]

Chick gets pulled over for speeding, the Washington State Patrol (WSP) Officer puts his official "yer gettin' a ticket" hat on and gets his pen and pad out. She brightly asks him if she's getting a ticket to the WSP Ball. He says "Sorry ma'am, the WSP don't have Balls". She looked at him, eyebrow raised.
He was quiet for a moment... flipped his book shut and told her to have a nice day.

RW, have you been pestering the nice folks at the WSP again?...LOL

:))

[elitebyford]

thats great!!!! i got one too!,

A man got pulled over for speeding and the cop asks the man whats the hurry.
the man tells the officer that hes a doctor on call and hes late for a shedueled surgery.
the man, not looking like a doctor, is then asked, well what type of doctor are you.
the man replys, "Im a rectum stretcher"
not familar with the expectaitons of the mans dutys, he asks what the use of a rectum stretcher is,
the man replys as such. well, i stretch assholes to be blunt, firs i start with lots of lube, then one finger, then two, so on and so forth until the diameter is about 5 foot 6 inches.
the officer's mouth drops in disbelife, and questions the man, what the hell do you after that?
the man replys, The state gives it a radar gun and sets him behind a bridge. he he he. im not much of a comedian, but told the correct way, that joke is funny as hell.

[BoDarville]

Both awesome!

A male driver is pulled over by a cop and the following conversation takes place:
Man: What's the problem officer?
Cop: You were going at least 75 in a 55 zone.
Man: No sir, I was going 65.
Wife: Oh Harry. You were going 80.
(Man gives his wife a dirty look.)
Cop: I'm also going to give you a ticket for your broken tail light.
Man: Broken tail light? I didn't know about a broken tail light!
Wife: Oh Harry, you've known about that tail light for weeks.
(Man gives his wife a dirty look.)
Cop: I'm also going to give you a citation for not wearing your seat belt.
Man: Oh, I just took it off when you were walking up to the car.
Wife: Oh Harry, you never wear your seat belt.
Man: Shut your mouth, woman!
Cop: Ma'am, does your husband always talk to you this way?
Wife: No, only when he's drunk.

You have no idea how many girlfriends and wives I have had throw their other half under the bus at a traffic stop. :D

[kevmeister]

what do you call a group of birds?
a flock...

what do you call a group of deer?
a herd...

what do you call a group of pigs?
a detachment...

:D

[Ayce]

If Kermit the Frog and Miss Piggy had kids, what would they be?

[BoDarville]

If Kermit the Frog and Miss Piggy had kids, what would they be?

Muppets.... OF COURSE!!!:alberteinstein:

[BoDarville]

Real Nightmare...


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jpziJTlv7Cw


My hero is the cop who tazered the guy then shot him. He got his eyebrow bit off!!!:-O

You hear him kinda grunt as it is happening and then you hear the cop say "I am gonna shot you" and then he does it!!!:secruity:

The bad guy had been beating people up and going crazy he also had a long history as a Piece of ****... After being shot though he was D.R.T.:-/


Dead Right There:vollkommenauf:

[Ayce]

Muppets.... OF COURSE!!!:alberteinstein:


Hehe, smartbutt. :D

Depends on the country.
In Europe, it would be a member of the Gendarme, in the U.S. it would be a member of the NOPD, and in Canada it would be a member of the QPP. :D;)